Final Reflection

Disclaimer: Please read my posts from the very first one to now. Which means read this post last. It is more understandable that way.

After reading the rest of my posts, especially the larger ones, I am sure you have gotten a reoccurring theme of gaming as a topic I liked to write on. Unfortunately, to your dismay, I am not a gamer. I have never played a computer game and I do not own any game systems. I am however dating a full (nerd and all) gamer. I actually am engaged to him. Going into this series of blog posts and considering the overall theme of radical romance, I decided that my focus would be on new digital media as a radical form of romance. Personally, I also wanted to use it as my attempt of understanding my fiancé’s obsession with gaming. Within this post I will identify my personal reflections and I will discuss new trends to digital media in relation to radical romance.

            As I had mentioned before, gaming has become it’s own culture complete with it’s own unique language and a new way to date. I referred to a web show, The Guild, which highlighted the distinctiveness of the gaming culture. My fiancé came across that show on his XBox and wanted me to watch it with him. Although I had never played and had no interest to play the fatal game, World of Warcraft, I found the show to be hilarious. My fiancé was laughing because he could understand and relate to the show and I was laughing because it made fun of those obsessed people. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed the show, I just find it a bit silly to sit in front of a computer with one hand on a mouse and the other on the letters W A S D and attack someone with some wicked weapon to collect loot and win a dungeon.

I suppose that the reason I am focusing my blog posts on this theme is because of that fact, that I don’t like gaming and my fiancé does. It most definitely has shown in our relationship how opposite our opinion is on this subject. Just last week, his brother was trying to plan a Halo party, where a bunch of people get together with their XBoxes and the game and all play throughout the house. I think it is called a lan party. Unfortunately, when he came to let me know about this fantastic event, he spoke to me in all the wrong ways. Essentially, the conversation was “I want to spend twelve hours playing a video game and I know you don’t like it but you can find something else to do.” I am paraphrasing, of course, because going into detail of that lovely argument would just take too long. I just want to understand what is so amazing about video games.

So as I looked deeper into the content of gaming and thought seriously about its implications, I still don’t fully grasp the wonder of this hobby. However, I do have an understanding that it is a unique way to find relationships. When I talked to my fiancé about gaming and dating, he was telling me that avatars do date in the game. There are even shops in the game that sell engagement rings and there are functions that allow an avatar to bend to one knee and propose. Individuals can even have a full wedding ceremony to wed the two avatars. It is a bit strange but if that is how they want to get married then go for it.

Digital media in general has opened up so many doors to relationships. Not only in the gaming world but also through the dating websites. I remember when admitting you were on a dating website was considered lame. If you were on a website to help you find a soul mate, you were thought of as a loner, someone who cant find someone by meeting them face to face. Now there are so many people on dating websites, it’s as if meeting an individual in person is taboo. Although I know of some cases where dating websites work, I believe that overall, dating websites is a joke. I think that judging a person based on the websites definition of compatibility and their profile picture is not an accurate way to meet a person.

My fiancé’s brother is on a dating website and before he even considers a girl to date, he judges her based on her looks. Is she cute? Is she fat? If she is slightly larger, she is thrown out without a second thought. Then he sees how compatible she is. Does she game? Is she funny? And if that poor girl made it that far, he will consider contacting her and maybe going on a day date. Eventually, he will find something superficial to tear her down on and he doesn’t call her again. It is horrible how he treats others thinking he’s the shit. BTW he is not that cute (I would say not at all… that’s why I am marrying his brother). And he thinks he is so cool and so experience because he has gone on so many dates he can’t even count them all. It’s the best when he goes to my fiancé and gives him dating advice. Haha you know you’re not a good dater if you haven’t been on a second date. In the end I suppose it is about whether you have the right intentions by signing up on a dating website. My fiancé’s brother is an extreme case of someone who does not have the right intentions.

I have, on the other hand, known people who have meet their significant other on a dating website and has since married them. However, the few cases of individuals meeting someone they eventually married does not out weigh the many others who just want an easy way to find someone they might like. It’s like actually going out in public is so hard to meet someone. I feel like the more people use these websites for dating the less social they will be. They will not know how to meet someone and try to impress them in person.

I believe in the old fashion (how sad is that meeting someone in person is considered old fashioned) way to finding relationships. I can respect a guy so much more for having the guts to address me in person. It is hard and scary, but it is so much more worth it than judging a website profile or talking to them through texts. I think that my fiancé’s brother would be way less cocky if he realized that real girls are not interested in a self-centered guy. But that is the way this culture is heading. Soon everything will be taken care of online, shopping, social networking, and dating will all be done without leaving your home.

Social Networks

I remember America Online Instant Messenger (AIM); it was all the rage creating a funky screen name and chatting with friends online. As the Internet has involved so has social networking. It is no longer about simply chatting with someone, now there is websites that make conversing with friends more interactive. You can chat with them, send them messages, and comment on their pictures. You basically have your own personal webpage, so you can customize it however you want. When I was taking a speech class we had to do a persuasive speech on any topic and take a stand on it. I chose to do mine on Social Networking sites and how people spend too much time on them. Individuals have even coined the term “MySpace or Facebook stalking”. I have even found on select occasions surfing from one page to another interested about what kind of pictures a person has or how they are commenting to other people’s status’. However, when you are on social networking sites so much that you are posting every time you watch a movie, or go on an errand, or go to the bathroom you know your abusing the website. I stressed that there is more to socializing than obsessing over someone’s status. Even just now as I was typing this fantastic blog post, my sister was telling her friend that she messaged her a part of her school project to her Facebook. What happened to working together on a project while in the same room? Or having a conversation with a person on the phone? When you choose to post on your mother’s Facebook where you are instead of calling them, you know something is wrong.